Vertical Closeouts and Grossouts at El Porto

We finally got out to El Porto on a Friday today!  Though we were down by a Swayze – we were sans Josh.  Still Aaron and I braved the ocean without The Chicken Dancer.  As El Porto can often decieve, the waves looked pretty mediocre from the parking lot.  Once we were out in the break though, the tension ramped up tenfold.  But for the first 30 minutes or so, we had a whole section to ourselves, so we were treated to waves galore.

But there were two things to contend with today.  First, the waves were doubling up on each other, so we often had to take on on wave only to wind up on another wave. Second, and more crucial, the waves were steep and near close-outs, so we had to be in just the right spot to take off and ride it out.  Essentially our choices were a) attempt a vertical take-off (Josh-style) and speed down the face of the wave at a slant to try and beat out the curl, or b) take off straight, go into a bottom turn, then go to fisticuffs with the curl and battle your way ahead of the wave.  (Both options generally resulted in being pummeled by the wave.) And since Josh wasn’t there to drop in like a Zero, the job was up to Aaron and I.  Bodhi says – If you want the ultimate thrill..

One oddity out today was Captain Cologne.  Me and Cap’n Cologne were paddling for one wave when I suddenly recoiled from the wave (and the world) when a pungent cloud of Old Spice punched me in the nose.  I didn’t know this needed to be said, but bros, no need for cologne while surfing.  First, the ocean has enough toxins in, let’s not pollute it any more.  And second, there is no hitting on other people while in the line up.


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