Danger Tortoise

My foster tortoise, Miss Shell, is much more active than my previous tortoise, Albert. She does laps in the patio on sunny days. She stalks and hunts backyard critters. She is sass in a shell my wife, Miranda Kopfshmertzen says.

When I have to leave the house for extended periods of time, Miss Shell has to surrender the patio to my dog, The Nudge. (They get along well enough when supervised. And though Miss Shell is tough and will fight back, I would never leave the two alone together.) Miss Shell has sweet temporary digs upstairs in the tiki room, when she is inside.

A fews days ago, I had to leave the house for a while and put the pets in the “away” configuration. Imagine my surprise when I returned home later and found Miss Shell wandering around downstairs. I do not know how she got out of her temporary apartment. I do not know how she made it Dow 14 steps, when each step is twice as tall as she is.

But she did leave me a sicilian message in the form of a tiny puddle of tortoise pee in the tiled hallway.

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