Continuing on our gross drinks theme, I give you Chelada. Because mixing Clams and Tomatoes wasn’t already a hideous enough idea. Beer Advocate rated this beverage a “D.” Though it should be noted that the rating was based on Budweiser and Clamato. Perhaps mixing Clamato with Bud Light, thus making it healthier, ups the rating.
I can only guess that this beverage was born thusly:
Two guys were bored in a bar and began daring each other to drink just plain ol’ Clamato. Naturally both men balked at the repulsive dare and opted instead for a “truth.” But men aren’t good at secrets so their “truths” only bored them further.
Then the first guy offers, “Man, I’d have to be crazy stinko to try Clamato.” Guy One was a fan of mixing old-timey and new-timey slang together.
Guy number two pondered this for a bit and then revised his original dare. “Okay, but could you drink Clamato if you were getting mad hammered while you drank it?” He raised his eyebrows up and down for extra convincing.
Guy One, already being a bit tipsy and not being able to reason things out fully, was intrigued by this counter-proposal. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I could do it then. It couldn’t be worse than HARD Creamer, right?”
The two men quickly concocted an elixir of Clamato and Bud Light giddy at the prospect of forging new alcoholic fontiers. Guy One picked up the mug, said a small prayer, blinked a few times, exhaled, and in an unfounded feat of dexterity, both downed the beverage and vomited it all back up at the same time.
Guy Two exclaimed, “GROSS!” because it really was super gross. Then seeing the bio-mess asked, “What did you last eat?”
Guy One tried to say “enchiladas,” but the mix of awful flavors in his mouth cause him to choke a bit and all that sputtered out was, “chilada.”
Guy Two got the bartenders attention. “Barkeep…another round of Cheladas.” Americans are good at goofing up words from other languages.
