Things You Should Remember That You Do Not

While showering this morning, I spent an exorbitant amount of time holding the shampoo bottle trying to remember if I’d already washed my hair or not. If I hadn’t, I definitely wanted to do so. But if I had, I certainly did not want to wash my hair twice, thus embarrassing myself to the aliens who are constantly observing me. Everybody has aliens observing them. They keep records. “Ah. Lordleiter washed his hair twice today….very interesting…” I knew they had already marked down “Wednesday, 7:45: subject has been staring at the shampoo bottle for an exorbitant amount of time; he doesn’t appear to be reading the label, just staring…very interesting…”

How do events that just happen not register in memory? I either just washed my hair or I just did not wash my hair. Either way, I could not recall the last minute of my life. It is just like when you pass through and intersection while driving and then you wonder, “Wait, what color what the light?”

Tell me America. Tell me of your brainfarts.


  1. <not an alien, no sir, no on 1 April 2004 at 2:34 am

    Maybe there is a reason no one responded to this post….Either we are all aliens and do not wish to provoke your medling in this area, or we haven’t finished planning the friends and family intervention to help you seek therapy for those voices in your head.

  2. MIranda on 1 April 2004 at 6:53 am

    Yeah, I sometimes get to school and don’t remember how I got there. I also often forget what I am saying in mid lecture to students causing them to look at me as if they are the aliens and wondering, “How the hell did the ‘authorities’ on this planet deem her worthy of ‘educating’ youth?” And I NEVER remember if I am wearing deodorant or not.

  3. Supervixen on 4 April 2004 at 3:23 am

    I’ve forgotten why I am continuously drawn to this site – the witty banter, the musical recommendations, or the chance to publicy humiliate Miranda? Wait, who are you people? Why am I wearing this cowbell????

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