Probably Not Interesting To You At All

I am sure nobody wants to hear this and I know with all the pain and suffering in the world, I have no room to complain….HOWEVER, the following has fully encompassed all my attention for the last 36 hours, so I can think of nothing else.

I have a pimple on my head that is causing me such pain. Oh, constant pain. I have named it Lucius, which means “bringer of light.” I figured this was appropriate because Lucius does bring me light – a blinding light of pain.

Lucius is located on a part of my face that has no name, but I will try to give you a vague idea. Somewhere between the corner of my right eye, the bridge of my nose and my eyebrow – somewhere in that triangle, one will find Lucius. I have named this body part as well. I call it the “nebt.” In this particular case we are talking about my right nebt.

Lucius is large enough that I can always kind of see it. Just enough so that I am distracted every two or three minutes to look up and find out “Hey, what is that?”

Though I can’t prove this, I am fairly sure Lucius is rooted behind my eye, perhaps even my brain. Also, and I can’t prove this either but I have unyielding faith it is true, I believe that Lucius is not originally of our plane. On the contrary, I am quite sure Lucius was brewed up in Satan’s pain cauldron before transcending from the ethereal plane to the physical plane to take up residence on my nebt.

I have twice commissioned my wife, Miranda Kopfschmertzen, to perform surgery to remove Lucius with no success. Though Lucius can be expunged from the physical world, Lucius is well rooted in the ethereal plane, of which I apparently have some sort of enhanced connection. I am currently trying to contact the spirit of George Harrison as he is the only person I know of that may be able to help me in this matter.