No Wonder Holland Is Forever Sinking
Go The Netherlands!
So that’s how it is, Holland? I put my heart and my number-one-foam-finger behind you and you up and lose to Russia. Woe to whichever team I root for.
So be it.
I will now opening root for whom I’ve been secretly rooting for all along – Germany. I now use the my very distant heritage as the basis for my link to Germany. Sure, my family left there for America in the early, early 1800s. So early in fact, Germany did not even exist as a nation. But where the family came from is now Germany, so I grasp to that. Plus, I’m big on structure, organization, being places early and I often stink…so Germany and I have that in common (perhaps passed down through the generations?). (And by stink, I mean “have BO”, not “stink at soccer.” Although personally I do stink at soccer.)
Gehen wir, Deutschland!
Perhaps the failure of the Dutch, the Austrians, and the Swiss is attributed to your secret rooting for ze Germans? They sensed your insincerity and were downtrodden. Personally, I am surprised it took you this long to attach yourself to Deutchland. Ich liebe dich, Lordleiter. Happy 7th anniversary!!!
Quick, Lordleiter — root for Spain!