I, Lame Robot

With computers taking over everything we do I sometimes worry with my baseless paranoia that we are in for an I, Robot/Terminator style future. If you think I am crazy, ask yourself this: How many phone numbers can you remember today compared to how many you had memorized 10 years ago? See, because your cursed mobile phone remembers them all for you. Here is how the nerds are taking over – they are smart enough to invent sweet technology. Technology that you can’t live without. Technology that you use to the point of slowly making yourself dumber and dumberer. We’ve become so dependent of technology and electricity that when the powers goes out the first two things you think are, “Well, guess I’ll check my email until the power comes back on. Oh snap. Right. Okay, I’ll just watch some TV then until I can check my email.” The only solace I have from this slow spiral into mass societal control are little signs that, though this future will happen, it may not happen in my lifetime.

Here is one such example. I have Vonage for my phone service. (Take that Verizon, you soul sucking vultures! I don’t cow tow to your fascist ways, even if your spokesman is Darth Vader.) I wanted to get a new wireless router to boost my internet speed, be wireless and continue my Vonage service. So, I went to the Office Depot and with lackadaisical grace I searched for “wireless vonage.” In hind sight I realize that was not the best search, seeing as how the object of my desire was a router. However that is not the point. The point is, the site’s artificial intelligence kicked in when zero results came back. The AI assumed I didn’t know what I was talking about and offered me an alternative based on my search.

Oh geez! Thanks Jeeves, I didn’t mean “wireless vonage.” What I REALLY wanted was “wireless fungi.” You’re a lifesaver.

So, here is where we stand in the humans versus robots war that is sure to come. 1. Robots are smart enough to know when humans have no idea what we are talking about. 2. Robots don’t know what they are talking about either.

1 Comment

  1. Anastasia Beaverhausen on 24 February 2005 at 9:23 am

    Can I get a teacher discount for that wireless fungi?

Leave a Comment