Happy Halloween, M'droogies

The Halloween Wrap-Up:

Movies I watched during the days leading up to Halloween: Jaws and The Omen (1976).

What we watched Halloween night while handing out candy: Bravo’s “100 Scariest Movie Moments” – which was fun, but misnamed. It was very much like the “I Love the [decade]” on VH1, but with scary movie moments instead of nostalgia. A movie would be listed, then famous people would talk about all the various scary moments from the selected film, but no singular moment was selected for each film. In case you are curious, Jaws was #1. When we started watching, I guessed that Psycho was going to be #1, but it came in at #4.

First trick-or-treater: Death. Imagine our surprise when we get the first “trick-or-treat,” we open then door and Death is there all by his lonesome. No parents. No siblings. Just Death. Little 4 1/2 foot Death. What do you say to Death? My wife quickly opted for a complement: “I like your hatchet.” Death replied, “Thank you,” in a deadpan monotone that only Death could do. Luckily Death was at our door only for candy and not either or both of our souls. We happily obliged him with a mini Twix and sent him on his way. “See you later,” I said. But I was being honest with him. I wasn’t with the other kids.

Scariest trick-or-treater: The $12/gallon gas pump. Truly frightening, and quite currently clever for a 7-year-old. Decades from now, when gas really is $12/gallon, he’ll look back and tell others, “…and I though $12/gallon was plain ol’ crazy. Scary even! Now we’re lucky to get $12/gallon.” He’ll no doubt also be tuning in to watch VH1’s “I Love the Tens.” Maybe in won’t be that far in the future. Maybe he’ll only be watching “I Love the Aughts.”

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