Day of Incompetence

It started like any other day. I had no reason to believe it would turn out to be the day of utter incompetence. But alas, incompetence was about to befall me three times. I have a low tolerance for stupidity anyway, but when it is visited upon my threefold, Little Lordleiter goes insane. (And I am no better, I know I have done some dumb stuff in my life too. But I work hard not to impose my indiscretions onto others.) It was kind of my personal Christmas Carol, but with idiots instead of ghosts. And I haven’t mended my ways towards stupidity. Anyway, I bring you…

An Incompetence Carol
by Lordleiter

Chapter 1The LA Times

I had cancelled my subscription to the LA Times several months ago. We only had the Sunday edition delivered, but I wasn’t even reading that anymore and felt I was being a bad eco-citizen by wasting so much paper. So I cancelled my subscription.

Yet, the Sunday paper continued to come. Every Sunday morning, I’d go out for some reason or another expecting to find anything but a paper, and there it would be. Almost taunting me, really.

After a few weeks of this I called LA Times to correct the mistake. The receptionist kept trying to sell me the Times again. I tried to explain that I’d already cancelled, I just want the papers to stop too, as one foolishly expects when one cancels their subscription. Finally the receptionist guy said he’d make a note of it.

But the papers came. And they came. So I called again. And the receptionist claimed he’d make a note of it. But the papers still kept coming.

So yesterday I am working happily in my home office (The Tiki Room), when the phone rings. Caller ID nonchalantly informs me that it is the LA Times calling. I pick up the phone half perturbed they are calling and half elated that I get to tell them a third time how clever they are.

“Hello?” I ask with giddy anticipation.

“Hello, Lordleiter, this is Joe from The LA Times and I would like to invite you back to the paper…” Joe went into his schpiel about how I could get Friday, Saturday AND Sunday for cheaper than I was getting Sunday.

I waited for him to finish. “I don’t think you can beat the deal I am getting right now, though.”

Joe inquires, “Which paper are you receiving now?”

“Oh, I still get the times, you see,” I baited Joe.

Joe was clearly trying to work this puzzle out, but couldn’t find the link to solve it, “But the computer shows that you cancelled several months ago.”

“Dude, I totally did. But that turned out to be genius. You see, even though, I cancelled my subscription, you guys keep delivering the paper anyway. I even called you guys twice to let you know you are mistakenly delivering you paper to me. But still your paper comes to my house. I no longer feel guilty about getting your paper. I feel I did my part. So unless you are going to start paying me to receive the LA Times, I am afraid I will have to decline your offer.”

Joe paused only long enough to process what I had told him. The he cheerily said, “Okay, then. You have a good evening,” and he hung up.

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