Somebody lied. Somebody wrote “feet” but I think they meant to write “inches” instead. Those waves were sad little mockeries of what waves are suppose to be. Granted I was not at a West facing beach as recommended, but even the West facing beaches didn’t seem to live up to the promise. I was at a South facing beach it was the only beach that did not severely suffer the brutal onslaught of the southland’s crapcake run-off from a month of rain. It seems that most dog owners do not feel obligated to pick up puppy poopie. Fie on you, irresponsible dog owners. I curse you and your dog’s movements. May said cakes haunt you for an indefinite amount of time. If you are wondering how much dookie I am talking about, it was enough to close the beaches for a minimum of three days. Some beaches are still closed. Seriously, Jeff Goldblum would be taken aback by this much crap.
Doubly worse was the bizarre mass squid death on the beach. If you don’t know, Lordleiter has a serious aversion to squid and their equally revolting counterparts, octopi. These were especially huge squid too. Not 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea huge, but 2-3 feet. (That’s right, FEET, not inches.) Check this out while I look away. Tell me when you are done. And these squid lined the beach as far as the eye could see. GROSS! IDIOTS!
Totally gross. Since they were Humboldt Squid, maybe they were just too high to tell where they were going and accidentally wound up stranding themselves. Duuuuuuuude…
I think they may have been some sort of mollusk branch of Heaven’s Gate. It did smell strangely like Kool-Aid that morning. OH YEAH!
Mmmm…calamari. Extra tentacle please!