As you may have noticed a while ago, I got a new television. It is extravagant, ridiculous and totally unnecessary to my survival. And it is high definition. For those of you who do not have high definition yet, let me tell you…it is glorious.
It is totally unlike me to tout the glories of television…but Holy Moses. Discovery Channel HD Theater and KCETHD are the greatest channels ever. You watch these nature shows in high definition and you get mesmerized.
I’ve been trying to think of a good analogy to describe just how it makes you feel. I’ve had a few bad ones come to mind, but I think the right example finally came to me. Do you remember in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Nazis opened the ark at the end? The priest guys is just beside himself with how awesome it all is. He screams “IT’S BEAUTIFUL!” and then his head explodes. It’s just like that.
There is a show called “Sunrise Earth” on Discovery Channel. It’s an hour long and all it shows is a sunrise. You laugh. You say the same thing Taube says – “You know you can see that outside, right?” Touche Taube, you can. But, these are sunrises from all over the place. I can see a sunrise outside, but I can’t see a Maine or Vermont sunrise from my house. And honestly, how many times have you gone outside and watched the sunrise? I am sure you still think, “Okay so an hour of a sunrise somewhere else…so?” But trust me. You watch this sunrise in high definition and you think “IT’S BEAUTIFUL!” and then your head explodes.
Also, I know the picture I used to help prove my point in a poor one. Not necessarily in quality, but subject. (Though the quality stinks too; I should be ashamed.) The show I am watching is not in high definition. But it is “Spinal Tap,” and that warrants some respect. (In a few moments from this picture some dwarves are going to come out and trample the 18″ Stonehenge.) But now that I think about it, that picture is totally appropriate. Because watching high definition television is like watching television at 11. It’s one louder.