Obi-won Kenobi once almost said, “Who is more foolish, the fool or the fool who argues with him in a parking lot?”
My nephew had his 3rd birthday party recently. His current obsessions include Superfriends and trains. And so he had his birthday party at Travel Town in Griffith Park and requested all attendees dress up as their favorite superhero. I chose Superman.
I had a Superman T-shirt. I augmented that with denim jeans and red boxers over the jeans (yes, over the jeans). Then I capped it off with a red cape that my mom made me. (Perhaps I caped it off?) (And not like, made for me years ago, but made for me recently, just for this event. Good ol’ Mom and her master costuming skills!)
As the party was winding down, I started taking gifts and party supplies back to my bothers car. On one of these trips to the parking lot, a Travel Town patron who was driving to the exit, slowed down by me and rolled down his window. I’d received plenty of comments already about my outfit. (I’d also received a lot of distressed looks from parents who clutched their children close as they were sure this grown man dressed in a Superman costume was surely a molester.) But instead of of the usual, “Nice outfit!” this dude says, “Superman wore red tights!” And not like a passing comment, but more as a throw-down-the-gauntlet challenge.
Granted my underwear were lacking the yellow belt-band I knew Super man wore, and I was wearing tennis shoes instead of red boots (which I jokingly referred to as “Superman casual” when people called me on my lack of detail), but I was pretty sure Superman wore blue tights and red panties on the outside. So I politely replied, “No, I believe he wore blue tights.”
He yells back, “NO! They were red!”
So then I realize I’m about to start arguing “tights color” with a guy who is arguing with a guy who is wearing a cape and his underwear on the outside. Whether I was right or wrong, it could have only ended badly. So I just made an angry face and told him, “You can’t argue with Superman!” and continued on my way.
But I was miffed. I immediately pulled out my iPhone and went to the internet source of truth (Wikipedia) for vindication. (In this case, Wikipedia served as the internet source of Truth, Justice and the American Way.) So, if you are reading this weird dude who argues with people in parking lots who wear their underwear on the outside – I was totally right.