Zissourific

Yesterday, after my dog, The Nudge, oh so subtly let me know the mail had arrived, I went out front to retrieve it. Yesterday’s mail was a bounty of treats. Were I a pirate, I might have referred to the vastness of these delivered treasures as “booty.” First off, I received the latest issue of “The Surfer’s Path.”

But what was far superior to my magazine was a mysterious, padded, manilla envelope. I rummaged through my memory – did I order anything? eBay? The Unibomber again? No, I was definitely not expecting anything. I re-checked the “to” addressee. Yes, “To: Lordleiter;” that was definitely me. I checked the return address. Hmm. No name, but the address indicated an area now known as “951,” formerly known as “The 909.” “Hey!” I remembered, “I know that address!”

Clamhead had sent me something. I was giddy. With calculated vigor, I ripped into the package. First I found a note: “Hope it fits…Enjoy, Clamhead.” Fits?! What would need to fit? Under the note was a mass of tissue paper. This tissue paper provided no match for my eager paws. As the tissue paper thinned, the object revealed its color – a deep red. In my head I was already thinking “Awesome! Something red!” At this point my excitement was at such a fever pitch it could have been a red ball of lint and I would have been super pumped about it. “Here Lordleiter. I found this in my dryer and thought you might get a kick out of it. It’s red. Hope it fits. Enjoy!”

But lo, my friends, it was not a red ball of lint. Clamhead bestowed upon me a Zissou beanie, crafted by her own anointed hand. And it was good. Nay – super mega awesome.

It is now part of my official working uniform; a Zissou Thinking Cap, if you will. I am wearing it even now as I write.

I am currently working on a way to properly thank Ms. Clamhead for this sweet gift. Ideas are welcome.