More Holiday Cheer
The saga continues. When I came home from a meeting on Thursday, I drove up to my house only to find a car parked in front of my garage. As you can see from the image in the previous entry, it’s not like we have a lot of drive way. Furthermore, the curb in front of everyone’s garage is painted red – as in “Fire Lane.” Furtherfuthermore, the offending car was a Cadillac I had seen recently. That’s right, Dear Readers, that car belonged to the Bougainvillea Crone. She could have parked in front of my neighbor’s garage, since she was visiting my neighbor. But, oh no. She was sending me a clear message – Up my nose with a rubber hose. (At least I didn’t wake up with a horse head in my bed.)
What’s more, I tried to be the bigger neighbor. I removed the bougainvillea after our last encounter. As rudely as it was put to me, the message was received. And so I obliged (even though the plant was dormant and would revive in a few months). In fact, I’ll bet this is what Jesus would have done.
But I don’t think my choice for my next move would have been the same as Jesus’s. (This is how Jesus and I differ.) I parked my car on the street and went in to my house through the side gate. When I did so, I noticed that my neighbor’s back door was open and I saw Bougainvillea Crone sitting at the table inside. As you might imagine, in the tight quarters of a townhome complex, voices carry easily. So, as I was standing in the back, unlocking my door, I started talking to my dog. (This is not unusual. I always talk to my dog when I get home.)
I told my dog, The Nudge, “Can you believe someone parked right in front of my garage? How rude is that? Not only is that totally disrespectful to me and all who live in this house, but it shows clear disregard for the safety of everyone living around here. I mean geez! Could the fire lanes BE marked anymore clearly? What if there WAS a fire? What kind of an ass does that?” My dog, The Nudge totally agreed. We walked into the house.
After the verbal dust had settled, and it was clear I was not coming right back out, the car was moved to a proper parking space.
I’m pretty sure Jesus would have done the same thing. Only he would have used a lot of “thee’s” and “thou’s.”
You’re just angry because you wear a blue housecoat and are always drinking coffee. Isn’t that right Mr. Gruff?
I would have totally let the air out of a tire. One on the passenger side. Then I would have opened my garage door into the car. Twice, as if I couldn’t figure out why the door wasn’t going up. The conversation with The Nudge would have been my last step. And this is why I am not Jesus.