Is Sheryl Crow the Woman of My Dreams?

I had another crazy dream last night. I was walking out of this bizarre apartment building. It was bizarre in that it was much more like dorms than apartments, but so it goes in dreams.

When I tried to exit the building the doorway was blocked by Sheryl Crow and her entourage entering the building. (I don’t imagine she normally travels with an entourage, so this is pure speculation by my subconscious, which I take no responsibility for.) Her entourage stopped just inside the doorway and dropped off a bunch of trash.

In an awesome dream-logic moment, seeing the entourage dropping off their trash made me think, “Oh yeah, tomorrow is trash day. I’d best not forget to put out my trash!” (Reality check – the following day in real life was not actually trash day nor had I forgotten to take said trash out.)

I had never seen Sheryl Crow in my building before and was shocked to find out that she lived here as well. Not shocked as in excited that she lived in my building, but shocked that she couldn’t afford better housing. But then my dream logic deduced that she probably also had an apartment for each of those entourage members. Yes, that settled it. Dream Me moved on.

When I passed by her trash pile I noticed that her trash consisted of a huge pile of old National Geographics (every issue going all the way back to 1964) as well as some National Geographic anthologies that I’d never seen before. These anthologies were based geographically and contained every NG article ever written about that area. So for example, there would be a book on Australia, Southeast Asia, North American and so on. (Although I did specifically notice a book on Borneo in my dream. It seems NG has written enough about Borneo alone to warrant it’s own book.)

(Reality Check – Two things are specifically awesome about this. One, National Geographic does not publish any such anthologies. Two, just in case you were curious, every National Geographic since 1964, stacked one on top of the other, only comes to about four feet high in the dream world. Who knew!?)

Having never seen these anthologies before, I had to have them. But here was the dilemma. Do I

• a) just take the anthologies from the trash and worry about someone judging me as a trash digger
• b) Go ask Ms. Crow if she would mind if I took her trash and risk looking like a crazed fan
• or c) just take the anthologies but worry about being mistaken for paparazzo?

I realize that (a) and (c) are the same action only with differences in how my actions would be perceived by others, but that was how Dream Me had broken it down. (Honestly, if I was making this up, I would come up with a much better scenario…or would I? But if I was making this up, I definitely wouldn’t have ended with the surprise twist ending that we will get to shortly. I’m not saying the ending is bad; it’s just not what I would have come up with. In many ways, it’s probably 10 times better than what I would have come up with.) So here is how I reasoned it out:

• (c) is probably not likely, because most of the people in the lobby where neighbors of mine and they knew I wasn’t paparazzo.
• (b) was right out for two reasons. 1) I don’t think I would be allowed close enough to Sheryl by the entourage to ask her about her trash, and 2) while I was away from the lobby asking Sheryl Crow about her about her trash (which her entourage probably wouldn’t let me do anyway) someone else would surely spirit away with my precious anthologies. No, plan (b) was right out.
• (a) was the only clear choice

And so I proceeded to stack as many anthologies as I could muster into my arms. (If only I had an entourage to carry them all!) But just then a biblical rain storm broke out.

And this is the best part of the dream. When I opened the door to the lobby revealing the rain, everyone in the lobby turned to look outside with the most deadly serious looks on their faces. “Oh God, no. The rain!” their faces all read. Then everyone, myself included because it was the most natural thing to do in the world, stripped down to their 1950’s futuristic sci-fi unitards, that we’d apparently all been wearing under our regular clothes and sprinted out of the lobby to their respective automobiles. Not to drive away, mind you, but just to sit in them until the rain passed I supposed. I don’t really know. The dream ended with everyone just sitting in their cars watching the rain.

Also, I don’t know if this is important to the dream analysis or not, but

1. These event took place at night. It was dark when we all ran out into the rain.
2. The unitards included hoods.