On Saturday a new ATM card arrived at our lovely home. And I have to admit, I was somewhat disappoint to find my name on the card. While tearing into the envelope I wondered how I would feel if the bank got it wrong… AGAIN! And I started laughing. A good hearty laugh too. In truth, what stopped me laughing was finding my own name on the card. Almost expecting to see my wife, Miranda Kopfschmertzen’s name on the card, I let out a disheartened “oh…” and dropped the mail and card on the table and walked away.

But I was happy to have a card again. Giddy to have the ability to deposit checks without driving 35 miles to do it, I made a bee-line to the nearest ATM to deposit all the checks I’d accumulated. Well, (sad horns), it seems when you get a new card, the bank also changes your PIN. However, this PIN won’t get sent until you activate the card. Thus, there is a grace period where you and your card get to know each other before the new PIN arrives in the mail.

I took my card to the zoo as a good will gesture. I figured we could bond over animals. But before we even got into the zoo we got into a big argument over who should pay and now we are not even on speaking terms. A dismal beginning to be sure.

Finally, the PIN arrived yesterday. 24 days I went without my ATM card. I am not implying “woe is me.” I know civilized people have lived thousands of years without them, and I could have done just fine without mine. But I do pay for this convenience and so I am irked. So much so that I’ve had to resort to pirate speak to relieve my upset. Scurvy bank and lots of GARRRRRs.

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