How To Become Fabulously Wealthy (i.e. Stinking Rich)

I have a plan. We all buy coffee at Starbucks everyday. I know you do, because I see you there everyday, so don’t try and pretend. Throw your embarrassment aside, because this fiendish, corporate habit will now serve as your cash cow.

First off, go out and get yourself a travel mug to fit your lifestyle and personality (also make sure it holds as much coffee as your usual order). If you are at a loss as to how to find one that suits you, then you have no personality and you can simply buy one right from Starbucks. Travel mugs are right next to the board games and espresso machines. However, don’t fret about your lack of personality, because when the cashish starts rollin’ in, it won’t matter any more.

Now, when you buy your daily infusion of Joe, use the travel mug. Hand it to the sometimes overly-friendly Starbuck employee and say, “Fill it to the brim, my good man,” even it if is a woman. When you “bring your own cup,” you should receive a 10