My nephew just started walking. Sure the quickest way between two points is a straight line, but check out that kid’s legs! He’s out of control. Could you imagine having that little coordination when it came to walking, but at your current age? Sidewalks would be much wider I should think.
Big Earn also benefits from that brief period of time where having a beer gut is adorable. Chicks dig it. However, were he in his mid-thirties with the same beer gut (proportionally), I doubt many ladies would be cooing over him and lifting up his shirt to zerbert his tummy.
You might be thinking to yourself right now, “Big Earn reminds me of someone…” I’m going to throw out some names that might give you some help: John Cleese, Ministry of Silly Walks…perhaps Vincent D’Onofrio as Edgar Suit in Men In Black.