Animated Alternative Sexualities

First Tinky Winky was gay. (Personally I thought the Teletubbies were just a bunch of futuristic space-stoners, thus disinclined to any sort of sexual identity. All the stoners I know have their greatest love affairs with Funions and boxes of cereal.)

Then Spongebob was outed by the press. Although for this one, I believe the joke is on the press and Jerry Falwell, because chances are Spongebob is monoecious. Which essentially means that Spongebob is sort of a spongy hermaphrodite. There’s no question of nature versus nurture there; he was literally born that way. And seriously, you can’t knock the dude for that.

But the animation gender walls are being broken down by the Nickelodeon’s “Barnyard.” The main character of this film, Otis, who is a cow, is a transvestite. He is clearly a dude, and he clearly has cow teats. But chances are that since this cow fits the exact definition of “transvestite,” he will probably go unnoticed in the crazed Christian zealot circles, and no stink will be made. Maybe the trick is to be totally open about the alternative sexualities.

But this begs the question: why a transvestite cow? If Otis’ dress preference is integral to the story, then I totally understand. But if the studio/animators turned Otis into a transvestite just becuase they were afraid of how audiences would react to animated cow penis, then the animators/studio have crazed issues. Disney has been drawing mammals for decades without any sort of genitalia or mammaries. (Though, I do seem to recall Maid Marion having a bit of fox cleavage.)

All that said, I am totally against “Barnyard.” Not because of the transvestitie cow, mind you. If that cow wants to dress up like a chick cow, more power to him and praise be to our American right to the pursuit of hapiness. I am totally against this movie because it looks terrible.


  1. Max von Fischgeist on 1 August 2006 at 11:06 am

    Are you perhaps confusing the terms “transvestite” with “hermaphrodite” or “weird male cow who has milk capabilities when he shouldn’t”?

    Furthermore, are you confusing the trash offered to the children we refuse to have (because of all the already-available refuse) as REAL cartoons? They are animated, yes. They are fantastical, yes. Do they make you laugh? No. Do they make you feel good? Again, no.

    Cartoons these days are chaotic and (dare I say it, since chaos is my element?) nonsensical. It’s no wonder Mud(d) is crazy — everyone around him speaks like some kinda wacky hurdy gurdy man. Likewise, it’s no wonder our kids are crazy — their cartoons are loud (without being fun), confusing (purposely so, I believe), not kid-aimed (I challenge you to watch a current Saturday morning cartoon and point out a joke that is aimed for a kid that is not 12 or older). Kids’ shows are ridiculous. As in “deserving ridicule”.

    However, I’ve nothing against a “transvestite” cow. But I am curious how a male cow has teats…


  2. Miranda on 2 August 2006 at 7:42 am

    So young Lordleiter was checking out Maid Marion, eh? It seems he was a boob man even then.

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