An Open Letter to Target

Dear Target,

Last weekend you re-opened the Target store near my house, much to my wife, Miranda Kopfschmertzen’s glee. Why you had to completely demolish the old building last spring and construct a completely new building in the exact same spot is totally beyond me.

It seems like adding on to the existing building would have been much more cost effective and less of a headache. But that is why you guys are the big wigs of Target and I am just a little wigged entrepreneur.

Still, you could have kept the store open during construction and not completely lost out on six months of revenue while also footing the bill for a whole new building. In the event that this idea is the genius idea and you guys are totally kicking yourselves now, feel free to consult me in the future. You can use the “Send Message” feature of this site. I am chock full of rad ideas.

However, I did notice while inside said Target store that you did use the reconstruction to build in a few new advances in Target technology. Most notably you know carry boxed wine (very classy) and there is now a Starbucks inside the store. (Thanks for this. You have no idea what trouble it is finding a Starbucks in a city of 250,000 people.) Now when I get too amped on a double espresso, I can quickly grab a box o’ vino and chill out in the patio section until my nerves settle.

This brings me to the crux of this, my open letter to you. With all these crazy advancements in shopping, you forgot to do something about the whiny and crying kids. Seriously, boxed wine and Starbucks, but nothing about the cry kids? May I suggest handing me some noise canceling Bose headphones next time I come to the store. They looked real nice in their handsome display (next to the iPod display). After I test them out for a while I will write back and let you just how well they worked. Also, one of those iPods would probably work well for testing those kid-canceling headphones when I am not in the store.

Warm Wishes,

L.