An Open Letter To S. Claus

Dear Saint Nicolas,

Hey, dude. It’s been a while. How are things with you? Sorry about the whole global warming and ice caps melting thing. I know I play a big part in that. I know methane is a big contributor…but Las Barcas is just too delicious.

Anyway, now that Thanksgiving is behind us…in no particular order:

1. Digital Camera Telescope Mount – I don’t know if you heard or not, but I got a new camera this summer. It’s pretty sweet. Anyway, I need a new mount so I can take pictures of planets and such.

2. Segway – This would help me help out the environment. See how good I am santa?

3. Doug Haut Epoxy Surfboard – Talk to Tom at 5th Street (you know Tom, right?); he knows what I am looking for.

4. Baritone Ukulele – You know how sometimes the guitar just seems too big, but the uke seems just too small? Well, I totally figured out a way to solve that! Also, the bari uke would provide me with great night time entertainment while on my island (see #5).

5. An Island – Please make sure that my island has awesome waves. (Then I could use my new surfboard there!) And go easy on the sharks; especially if they are mackerel sharks!

6. Vespa Scooter – You accidentally overlooked this one last year. (Don’t worry, it’s cool.) I don’t drive very much, or very far anymore and this would be an awesome way for me to get around. (For when the distance is too great for my new Segway.) May I also be so bold as to ask for a side car and two old-timey leather helmets with goggles (one for me and one for my dog, The Nudge). This would also serve as a great way to get around my island.

Take care,


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