Moted Modem

This may truely be the worst thing ever. My Internet connection from home ist kaput. This is true for two days now. My whole world is crashing around me. In my dispare, I had to turn to regular old television for entertainment. I watch little television and what I tried to watch last night were two episodes of “The Office” I had already seen. This further crushed my tattered spirit. I ended up watching the comprimised Pan-and-Scan version of Attack of the Clones on HBO. One thing remains certain – Yoda is my idol.

Anyway, I called my Internet provided to invite them to my abode to fix that which should never be broken, maybe have some lunch or coffee. The earliest they offered to accept such a tempting invitation was Wednesday. This is upsetting to say the least. Most upsetting were the novice hoops I had to jump through to get that insulting appointment. “Try unplugging the modem.” “Try restarting your computer.” Are these two options not the obvious first two things anyone would try if their modem is not working. I kept explaining to my “service representative” that I was not getting a signal from the cable in the first place and that if the modem won’t receive information from the outside world, it was irrelevent what my computer was doing. “Try putting your computer to sleep.” By the third explination of, “but the modem is not picking up the signal from the cable,” I finally realized this guy had a checklist of things to suggest. The best was, “Try taking your modem into the office and having it exchanged.” I had done this the previous day. “I DID THAT YESTERDAY!” I explained to him. The guy I dealt with the previous night seemed to be so much more informed. He knew which modem I was using, how long I had had it and when the last time I called them was. Such a discrepency. Finally, Mr. Helper suggested, “Try having a technician come out and look at it.”